Brakina
4,2% ABV; 65cl; 600-700 CFA
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The Pabst family is lucky this beer wasn’t around in 1892 because if it were it would have been a serious contender for that Blue Ribbon. Brewed with the finest hand-selected Burkina grown hops and malts, Brakina is the perfect beverage for those 100°F+, Sub-Saharan, landlocked blues. Plus, I think its name is a pun. I give it 8.75 Pabsts on the Pabst Scale, with 1 Pabst being no Pabst at all and a perfect 10 Pabsts being one 12 oz can of Pabst.

Beaufort
4,6% ABV; 65cl; 600-800 CFA
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Beaufort? More like Belleforte, this is hands down the girliest been in country. Don’t misunderstand, there’s nothing wrong with girls (I’ve actually grown fond of a few in the past), but this beer is not for me. My best bet for why it’s so bad is that the green glass bottle coupled with our close proximity to the equator makes for one continually skunked beer. I give it a 2.4 Pabsts.

Pelforth
6,2% ABV; 65cl; 800-1200 CFA
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If you have a few more CFA (African Fun Bucks) in your back pocket and are lucky enough to come across this relatively rare beer, I recommend treating yourself. Crafted by the same brew master(mind)s that birthed Brakina, this amber ale will bring you back to those lazy Yuengling filled days in the central Pennsylvanian mountains—all you have to do is close your eyes and block out the sounds of children chanting “foreigner” at you in local language. I had to make another rating system for Pelforth as it ranked off the charts on the Pabst Scale. I give it two thumbs up, a high five, and a celebratory chicken.

So.B.Bra
4,2% ABV; 65cl; 600-700 CFA
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If you looked only at the ABV, volume, and price of this beer you might think it was the same as Brakina, but if you actually tasted one you’d know it was the same. I’m convinced the So.B.Bra factory is a single apartment in Ouagadougou with a guy popping open Brakina bottles and pouring the contents into So.B.Bra bottles. Regardless, it’s a good alternative to Brakina if your given location is out of Brakina or if too many people already have ordered Brakina and you want to be different/interesting/mysterious. I give it a 7.6 Pabsts.

3 réflexions sur “

  1. way funny. way funny. Domestic brew aficionados will be discussing this for days to come…. Thanks Clay. RE: girly beers… we’ll discuss later.

    • Getting a vague feeling that there may be a W. African PBR bottler and distributership somewhere in your future timeline Clay. Thanks for the education on local suds.

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